"The Misadventures of 2nd Lt Wm G. Pepe"
the author and sgt johnson feeding the birds at trafalgar square
the misadventures of 2nd lt W G Pepe
Anyone who has held the lowly rank of 2nd lt in a command headquarters ia aware of the many distasteful additions to duties this lowly rank attracts. It is standard operation procedure whenever a particularly disagreeable task is assigned, it is always passed down to someone lower in rank, to where it ultimately finds it's way down to the lowest ranking 2nd lt. even if your date of rank is one day older, you can pass it down to the new man. unfortunately, I was the new man and at one time, in my illustrious military career, I held 27 additions to my regular duties,from war bonds officer to morale officer and every disagreeable task in between. at one point, I was assigned the job of courier which didn't seem like bad duty for it promised relief from the redundancy of constant training and would get me to london from time to time. I inquired as to my mode of transportation and was escorted to the motor pool where I was introduced to the meanest looking monster of a huge harley davidson motorcycle, the mere sight of which was cause for serious misgivings. when I laughingly protested that I had no experience on a hog, I was told that I had six hours in which to learn. a sympathetic motor pool sgt took me in hand and aquainted me with the basic rudiments of two wheel motion. after many false starts and multiple abrasions and contusions to various parts of my delicate anatomy, the monster and I arrived at a tenuous approximation of a truce. I would keep it upright as long as it did not try to bite me. I must say, the monster and I were the source of much merriment and hilarity with hdqtrs personel as we got aquainted. eventually, we became quit fond of each other and we tooled noisily around the welsh countryside, much to the consternation of the local gentry and livestock.
most of my trips to london were to SHAEF hdqtrs at grosevnor house and were routinely dull and uneventful. on this particular day, I was ordered to select a sgt as an escort and prior to departure, we were both issued sidearms. this, in itself, should have cautioned me that this trip would be somewhat out of the ordinary. but I was given no reason to suspect otherwise. I thought the army was just being unusually magnanimous in allowing one of the men the opportunity to visit london. no, we did not ride the monster but were instead, issued a jeep, when you stop to think about it, is not too far removed from a motorcycle. we took off for london and the southern part of england is really quite a scenic trip for it carried us past stonehenge and may of the southern port cities. we arrived at SHAEF hdqtrs where I was charged wih the responsibilities of a large package that bore the classification, "confidential". this did not cause any undue concern since the army classifies evety piece of correspondence from "confidential", being the lowest to the ultra secret,"top secret bigot". everything was carried on in routine manner and we were given no reason to treat this mission with any special consideration. there was not even the slightest indication of what this package might contain which was exactly the way hqrts intended.
we had some time to kill before returning to base so the sgt and I thought we would familiarize ourselves with a little bit of english culture. we happened upon the royal albert hall where noel coward's production of "blithe spirit" was being presented. with nothing better to do, and with very little else in the way of entertainment available in war torn london, we deciced to take advantage of this offering. upon entering the theater, the attendant asked if we would like to check our coats. the bulky package was now inside the courier bag and was checked along with our coats where it reposed, innocuously, completely forgotten for the next couple of hours. at the conclusion of the show we retrieved our checked items. the courier bag, however, could not immediately be located. someone had placed it on the floor behind some overshoes. after an extensive search, the bag was located and delivered into our questionably capable hands, somewhat the worse for wear, for it had absorbed some moisture from the wet floor. no problem.
despite the fact that london was wearing it's wartime gray, it still represented the place where everything was happening in the british isles so it was with a great deal of reluctance, we retrieved or jeep and started our return to base. when I surrendered the package to my commanding officer, he asked if I had any idea as to what I had carried from london. when I replied that I thought it contained nothing more than the usual routine correspondence, I was informed that the package contained the complete plans for the invasion of northern france as they affected the 5th engr spcl bgde, "D DAY"!!!!!!! the outer wrap was marked "confidential" so that I would not be influenced by the importance of the enclosed documents which were classified, "top secret bigot"
To those of you who are of another generation and may not be aware of the significance of D Day, it identified the day that the allied invasion of northern france was to begin and was probably the most closely guarded secret of the entire war. Headquarters did not want me to behave in an
abnormally heightened state of urgency. I don't think, however, they expected me to treat this package with such a degree of irreverence. after I stopped shaking and my eyesight returned to normal, I meekly excused myself and got sick all over the colonel's petunias. the sgt was sworn to secrecy with the promise of additional trips to london --------- this, unfortunately, is not the end of the story, we will continue this saga at a later date
( music by marlene dietrich )
most of my trips to london were to SHAEF hdqtrs at grosevnor house and were routinely dull and uneventful. on this particular day, I was ordered to select a sgt as an escort and prior to departure, we were both issued sidearms. this, in itself, should have cautioned me that this trip would be somewhat out of the ordinary. but I was given no reason to suspect otherwise. I thought the army was just being unusually magnanimous in allowing one of the men the opportunity to visit london. no, we did not ride the monster but were instead, issued a jeep, when you stop to think about it, is not too far removed from a motorcycle. we took off for london and the southern part of england is really quite a scenic trip for it carried us past stonehenge and may of the southern port cities. we arrived at SHAEF hdqtrs where I was charged wih the responsibilities of a large package that bore the classification, "confidential". this did not cause any undue concern since the army classifies evety piece of correspondence from "confidential", being the lowest to the ultra secret,"top secret bigot". everything was carried on in routine manner and we were given no reason to treat this mission with any special consideration. there was not even the slightest indication of what this package might contain which was exactly the way hqrts intended.
we had some time to kill before returning to base so the sgt and I thought we would familiarize ourselves with a little bit of english culture. we happened upon the royal albert hall where noel coward's production of "blithe spirit" was being presented. with nothing better to do, and with very little else in the way of entertainment available in war torn london, we deciced to take advantage of this offering. upon entering the theater, the attendant asked if we would like to check our coats. the bulky package was now inside the courier bag and was checked along with our coats where it reposed, innocuously, completely forgotten for the next couple of hours. at the conclusion of the show we retrieved our checked items. the courier bag, however, could not immediately be located. someone had placed it on the floor behind some overshoes. after an extensive search, the bag was located and delivered into our questionably capable hands, somewhat the worse for wear, for it had absorbed some moisture from the wet floor. no problem.
despite the fact that london was wearing it's wartime gray, it still represented the place where everything was happening in the british isles so it was with a great deal of reluctance, we retrieved or jeep and started our return to base. when I surrendered the package to my commanding officer, he asked if I had any idea as to what I had carried from london. when I replied that I thought it contained nothing more than the usual routine correspondence, I was informed that the package contained the complete plans for the invasion of northern france as they affected the 5th engr spcl bgde, "D DAY"!!!!!!! the outer wrap was marked "confidential" so that I would not be influenced by the importance of the enclosed documents which were classified, "top secret bigot"
To those of you who are of another generation and may not be aware of the significance of D Day, it identified the day that the allied invasion of northern france was to begin and was probably the most closely guarded secret of the entire war. Headquarters did not want me to behave in an
abnormally heightened state of urgency. I don't think, however, they expected me to treat this package with such a degree of irreverence. after I stopped shaking and my eyesight returned to normal, I meekly excused myself and got sick all over the colonel's petunias. the sgt was sworn to secrecy with the promise of additional trips to london --------- this, unfortunately, is not the end of the story, we will continue this saga at a later date
( music by marlene dietrich )